August - September 2020 - I'm alive once again

I was in the ICU for more than a month. I don’t have the strength because the only nourishment I was receiving was from the IV. In addition, I was in dialysis non-stop. The only time that I can move was when the nurses will measure my weight, and when there was a rehabilitation hour wherein the therapist will massage my body and do some stretching. There was a massage machine attached to my legs, they said that it will help my muscles to be alive. Even though I am bedridden, I can still feel the weight of the massage machine, for me it was so heavy. 

In my times in the ICU, I experienced the diaper life. I pee and poo on the diaper. And the most difficult of all was vomiting. When I eat or drink, I vomit or will have loose bowel movement. I was feeling embarrassed every time I get my diaper changed, because sometimes the nurse is a male. 

I got better but still bed ridden. I was transferred to the Nephrology ward for me to recover. I am still under dialysis for 3 times a week. But the treatment for the rare bacteria, Mycobacterium haemophilum, is still on process. Many antibiotics was tested but it didn’t match to my body. I vomit and have loose bowel movements. Until there tried AMIKACIN. It was given to me by IV 3 times a week. But I am starting to feel the side effects of this medicine. The side effects were really scary, my hair fell, I was almost bald and I thought I lost my hearing. The feeling is like water entered my ear and there is continuous ringing. I can’t hear well. I had the difficulty of understanding high tones, plus everyone is wearing face masks and face shields. I was really a horror. I was so depressed, thinking why did this happened to me. 

I cannot eat and drink well. I was literally skin and bones. I was not able to sit down or stand up without help. I was so weak. The rehabilitation was continuous. I was exercised and massaged. I was there in the ward recovering and I was able to walk with the help of the therapists and the walker. But the learning process of everything was so difficult. It was like you are a baby again, learning to stand up and walk. Sometimes I wonder if I am doing right because I am so conscious about my movements. I also fell many times when I was practicing to walk, luckily I didn’t have broken bones, only bruises. 

I thought it was my ending. This time, as far as I can remember, when I passed out it was like I was walking to the light, everything was so calm and heavenly, but there was someone who pulled me back. I was blessed with a miracle because I lived despite that challenge. In dark moments, remember there is always a Light. 

Sorry no relevant pictures. I was bedridden.

July 2020 - Am I dead?

 After almost 2-3 weeks outside the hospital, early July I was admitted again. Since I cannot urinate well, the water is accumulated in my body. This time, it was accumulated in my heart and in my lungs, I had a difficulty of breathing. In addition, I also have edema. It came to the point that I cannot urinate so I have 24 hours IV of anti edema medicine. I have catheter so my urine can be measured. The urine for 24 hours is merely 20cc, and I am swelling more. A catheter for IV was implanted on my neck and I am undergoing blood dialysis 3 times a week for 3 hours so they can take out the water from my body.

 

I was brought to the Intensive Care Unit (ICU) because my condition was not getting better. I must undergo dialysis for 24 hours. The ICU doctors are continuously monitoring my vitals especially my heart and breathing. My Nephrologist also always visits and checks on me. When my condition was better, I was transferred to the Nephrology ward again. At last, I can have a good night sleep. In the ICU it was noisy because of the alarms and the doctors and nurses were coming in regularly.

 

July 11 midnight, came that I cannot really sleep because I am having difficulty in breathing and chest pain. The nurse gave me pain killers and put oxygen mask, somewhat it helped. But as hours passed it was very difficult to breath that I was chasing my breath, the mask for the oxygen was changed into a plastic bag structure. In that way, there will be more oxygen that I can take. I was feeling dizzy, and I think I will pass out. The emergency doctor told me that they need to bring me to the Intensive Care Unit (ICU).

 

I really did pass out, and when I woke up, I have the catheter for IV on my right hip. I am beside the dialysis machine, and I was under dialysis for over 24 hours. My body was so weak. I can only move my eyes. I cannot eat and drink because my stomach hurts and I am having loose bowel movements. I was so happy that even though the visitation is limited because of the pandemic, if the patient is in the ICU, anytime and there was no time limit. K always visits me. He was the messenger for my family. He brought recorder so I can voice message my family. He also brought pictures of my family and DVDs to cheer me up. Even though he was busy he still came regularly.

            

June 2020

I was discharged from the hospital on June 6. For the celebration, I and my friends went to eat out. For lunch, we had a hamburger. And for dinner, I craved sukiyaki. It would not be sukiyaki if it will not be dipped in a raw egg! The meat was so tender and there were plenty of vegetables. But as the hours passed, my stomach hurt, and I was vomiting. I also had loose bowel movements. My stomach really hurts so we put hot pack but to no avail. It really came to the point that I cannot bear the pain anymore, so I asked my friend to take me to the hospital. We went to the emergency room, and they gave me IV fluids to rehydrate me and more painkillers. When I finished the IV, we were able to get home. The cause was the raw egg that I ate with the sukiyaki. It was my first time to have a stomach upset with sukiyaki’s raw egg. Maybe the egg was not fresh, or my stomach is still delicate.

 

I recovered from the stomachache, and I was able to claim my new visa and I was granted 3 years of extension.

I am resting at home but one morning, I vomited blood so we called an ambulance. I was rushed to the hospital. The doctors said that it was because the nerves in my lung area and air tract were raptured. They gave me medicine to stop the bleeding. After a few days, I was able to go home again.

 

I am continuously doing my rehabilitation because my legs are getting weak and I am getting tired easily. So in the rehabilitation, we are focusing on knee exercise and breathing exercises.

 

My boss doesn’t want me to go to work so, I am staying home to recover. I can still move but I get tired easily. I also noticed the volume of my urine is not the same as before, I think it is decreasing. My doctor said that I will continue to take the anti-edema pills so I can urinate. When I take the medicine, after 2 hours, I really urinated well, but after that, the volume is decreasing.

My medications are still almost the same steroids, cellcept, tacrolimus, blood pressure medicine, and vitamins. In addition to that, I have many antibiotic medicines. I think I am taking almost 20 tablets each time.

 

 

I'm alive!

 Many rough months have passed but I am still alive!
 
 
Please look forward to it.

Sorry that it took a long while to update my blog. I will be posting my life and death adventures from June 2020.